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Hello there, world wide web...

So it's the last day of August, and I didn't want to ruin my current streak of monthly Blog updates! But, in truth, the thing I need to talk about is without a doubt the hardest thing I will ever have to write about. So much has changed since my last post to you all. The girl who wrote of falling foolishly in love less than a month ago, feels a whole world away from the girl writing to you now.

A few things need to be said, need to be cleared up, and I need to be as open as I can about what's in my head. Because that way, maybe I can stop letting it consume my thoughts and move on from torturing myself with what-if's. Maybe I can give myself a shred of hope of getting back to myself. And so, something as meaningful and close to the heart as I aim to share with you all, takes time. And tissues!

I promise that something is coming.

Hopefully it'll be worth the wait, and you can be entertained by the ironic injustice of my life, while I gain some closure. But in the mean time, please be patient!

Sorry that this post is woefully boring.

And sorry that I'm apparently atrocious at dealing with life!

I'll update soon.

But, until then, please enjoy this beautiful song that I think is rather fitting!

Thanks for reading, over and out.

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Sinking Ships

Can somebody please tell me how to fix this sinking ship? Because I'm exhausted. I've given my all to bailing out these frigid waters, fighting against the relentless surge. I waste every breath, every thought, every effort, to confining an endless tide. I cannot stop. But I'll drown out here, cold and alone, if I don't pause, find the source and fix this broken vessel. So teach me how to plug the gap before it kills me.

Her

She has the kind of face to write poetry about. To spill words like ink on page after page, searching for a way to describe it. And yet, there are never enough words. Their meaning, feels meaningless. I could travel to the furthest reaches of every continent. Dive to the deepest depths of the seven seas, or soar to dizzying heights above the tallest trees. And yet, the world would feel dull, in comparison to her. Even in a thousand lifetimes, hard as I try, I wouldn't ever find a single sight more beautiful than her face, nor a string of words capable of capturing that beauty. Because nothing has ever or will ever be more beautiful to me, than her.

I'm sorry...

So, over the past few months or so I've been trying to figure out how to write this post, to talk about the end of my five-year relationship. The intention was to clear my head of this swirling mass of thoughts, and attempt to find some clarity. But, every time I ended up writing, this post got longer and more difficult. So I put it off, I avoided it, and I stressed about how on earth I would ever manage to translate my thoughts into words. However, I refused to give in, because part of me believed that once I could get this confusing tangle of emotion out of my head and into words, I would finally be at peace. So, one sentence at a time, as the days and weeks and months stretched on, I managed to string together this rambling mess of thoughts. And in the end, it just turned into an apology. To myself, to those around me, and more than anything, to the girl who all of this began with. So, here goes... Do you ever feel like the longer time passes, the further from yourself yo...

The Random Ramblings of Lauren

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