I think I've fallen down the rabbit hole. I'm not sure how long I've been in this dark and unknown place, but I know it's not where I belong. Like slowly, sluggishly waking up for a dream, I'm starting to notice that this isn't right. It isn't real. I've been living in a fantasy, trying to convince myself that up is down and wrong is right. I've been clinging to the slightest shred of happiness or normality, convincing myself that it's enough. I've been wasting my every breath to chase foolish fantasies, giving my all to maintain a fallacy. And I've done it for so long, that I've forgotten that any other reality exists. When did I last feel "normal"? Is my entire self-worth so pointlessly ruled by the fleeting moments of hope, in a cruel and ruthless ocean of despair? Hopelessly, desperately scrambling to be the person I paint myself to be every day. To maintain the story that everyone around me is so desperate to read. Hidi...
Hey! My name, as you may have guessed above, is Lauren, and this is my little safe space to share any random ramblings about life, the universe and everything. If you've found this page, it's either because you're as weird as I am, and you're searching for someone else who finds the world a difficult place and is trying to make sense of it all... Or you're here because you know me and you're hoping to figure out just how weird I really am. Either way, welcome, and enjoy.