I've never been good at staying still. My mind fidgets and flutters from thought to thought with fleeting fancy. A momentary fix of attention and dopamine, before I'm searching for something more elsewhere. I wander and roam, bumping against temporary people or places to feel at home, before that sensation fades and I'm off again. I find something I like; and suddenly I don't like it. I fixate on finding something bigger, or better. I make myself something to eat; I'm not hungry. My need for food has been replaced by another whim. I find a new style or look that feels like me; and all of a sudden I don't recognise the stranger in front of me. I'm exhausted beyond the realms of comprehension; so much so that my body refuses to go on, and yet my mind surges on with steadfast determination in search of a new spark. But all too soon, that spark has flickered and died, and I'm back to being lost, a speck of dust in the centre of a tornado of possibility and ...
Hey! My name, as you may have guessed above, is Lauren, and this is my little safe space to share any random ramblings about life, the universe and everything. If you've found this page, it's either because you're as weird as I am, and you're searching for someone else who finds the world a difficult place and is trying to make sense of it all... Or you're here because you know me and you're hoping to figure out just how weird I really am. Either way, welcome, and enjoy.